Monday, February 7, 2011

She who must be admired....

The nursery here at the hospital is quiet right now. Shift change just ended a few minutes ago. I sit here beside "she who must be admired" and wait for our miracle.

The walk to the Holden NICU felt strange this morning. I realized that it's a path thousands of other parents have walked before me, and thousands more will walk after. It's an emotional path to walk, each step bringing you closer to your little loved one. It's hard not to get emotional on a walk like that...but I'm praying that I get to travel that path for many days to come.

Yesterday was a long, hard day. But it was a wonderful day, as well. The neurologists did not have a good report. Medically speaking, Miranda still does not have much, if any brain activity. They are going to do a full EEG today. Miranda spent yesterday surrounded by loving family, some of whom even got a chance to hold her, including me. I can not express in words how much it meant for me to be able to hold my precious little girl.

I have been "accused" of showing extreme courage and fortitude over the past couple of days. Don't be fooled folks, any strength you see is God. I'm so broken on the inside. Waves of despair, pain, and frustration do occasionally break over the levee, but I know that Jesus is there holding the flood back.

Today will be another long day, but I know that Miranda and I will be surrounded by family and love, both figuratively and literally. Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Praise him all creatures here below. Praise him above, ye heavenly hosts. Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen.