Dear Sara,
I went back to church this morning, my first time since the accident. Grief’s cold blade pierces deepest when I participate in activities from the old normal, the times and places when we would have been together just “doing life.” My tears started when I walked in the door. They eventually stopped flowing on the outside, but I can still feel them falling in my heart, even now.
The church youth lead the service today. One of the songs we sang was Jesus Loves Me. The last time I sang it was seven weeks ago, while I held our daughter, after they took her off life support. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to sing it again, it makes me cry just to think about it.
On my way home, the song I’ll Fly Away came on the radio. So much hope for those who are already gone and so much anticipation for those of us who have a great reunion to look forward to.
Some glad morning when this life is o’er, I'll fly away
To that home on God's celestial shore, I'll fly away
I'll fly away, oh glory, I'll fly away
When I die, hallelujah by and by, I'll fly away
When the shadows of this life have gone, I'll fly away
Like a bird from these prison walls I'll fly, I'll fly away
I'll fly away, oh glory, I'll fly away
When I die, hallelujah by and by, I'll fly away
Oh how glad and happy when we meet, I'll fly away
No more cold iron shackles on my feet, I'll fly away
I'll fly away, oh glory, I'll fly away
When I die, hallelujah by and by, I'll fly away
Just a few more weary days and then, I'll fly away
To a land where joy will never end, I'll fly away
I'll fly away, oh glory, I'll fly away
When I die, hallelujah by and by, I'll fly away
by Albert E. Brumley
I got home and listened to this song over and over. Its message doesn’t make me hurt less, but it gives me something to cling to and the tears sting a little less.
I love you. I miss you. Give Miranda a kiss from daddy.
Love,
Chad
