Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Good days and bad days...

Dear Sara,

It's hard for me to believe that it's been almost a month since the accident.  In some ways it seems like it was just yesterday and in others it seems like it was ages ago.  Time plays funny, or not so funny, tricks on the mind during difficult days like these.

Yesterday was a bad least it started out as a bad day.  I think Stevie and I were both missing you more than we had in recent days.  He wandered around the house crying out for you all day long.  I mostly sat on the couch and just cried.  Things got a little better as the day progressed.  I had dinner with my mom and dad and then met Aaron and Sarah in town for some shopping at Best Buy.  It was back to crying when I got home though.  It probably didn't help that I was looking at pictures of you and Miranda when I should have been trying to go to sleep.

Today was different.  I woke up and actually caught myself smiling, for no apparent reason.  Instantly it made me feel sad, but not like yesterday, more along the line of how can I be happy at a time like this.  Stevie has had a better day today, too.  Much less vocal "noise" on his part.  Speaking of Stevie, I think you'd be proud of him.  He's getting used to having people other than us in the house.  Aaron came over tonight and Stevie didn't seem to hardly notice that he was here.  That's a long way from the days when he'd sprint down to the basement as soon as an unfamiliar face showed up.  I was so worried about how he'd react to the baby and having people over to see the baby...apparently he would have handled it just fine.

I love you.  I miss you.  Give Miranda a kiss from daddy.