Positive home pregnancy test...check!
Positive blood test...check!
Trip to the doctors office...next week.....
An overall feeling of excitement has started to creep in, but I think we're both still waiting for that final "check" before we finally feel like this is for real and happening. It's not that we doubt the results of the first 2 test, and it's not that we're not happy. We're extremely happy, just reserved in that happiness.
That reservation is probably a result of the process and some of what we've been through in trying to get here. We first started this process almost 16 months ago. For those of you who get pregnant just at the thought of having a baby, we're a little jealous. We've fallen into the category of those who need a little pharmaceutical help in this area. The frustrating part for us was knowing going into it that this was our most likely reality, but it didn't feel like we could convince the doctors of it. They were determined that we should just let nature take it's course and THEN if nothing happened they'd start checking into things. I guess that's fine for most people, but we're not most people and, without going into the details, we had some insight that said there might be some extra challenges to overcome. It took us 13+ years to get to the point of really wanting this to happen. Having to wait almost a year and a half, and endure the doctors visits, takes some of the shine off the apple.
One of the hardest parts has been watching other people "get it right." Since we started trying:
One of the hardest parts has been watching other people "get it right." Since we started trying:
- one of my cousins had a baby about 1 month into our process
- my brother and his wife had their 3rd child about 5 months into our process
- another of my cousins announced their pregnancy about 8 months into our process
- two more of my cousins announced their pregnancies about 11 months into our process, one a first timer, one on her 2nd
- one of my wife's cousins announced her 2nd about a month ago
We're really happy for all of these people, honestly, but I'd be lying if I told you we weren't jealous and frustrated watching other family and friends enjoy the experience we've been longing to have ourselves.
With this in mind, we hope you'll all understand why we didn't rush right out and tell everyone. Add into the mix that we're both first borns and we both want to go through this process as a couple, without a lot of preconceived (no pun intended) notions about what to expect.
We're less than a week in, fully expecting that this will be our happy little secret for at least a few months.
This sounds very much like what my husband and I are going through. We have been married for 3 years and 8 months and have been wanting a child for just over 3 years. All of the women in my family have had children or are expecting, not including friends that we know. It has been about 15 - 20 people. We too are very happy for them, but it's hard not to look at them with jealousy and want.
ReplyDeleteI know you are going through a huge amount of heart ache right now. And although we don't know one another, I wanted you to know how this blog touched me. I now know, with even more certainty, that we are not alone and the feelings we have are normal.
I wish you much strength and mercy from our Father in Heaven.
God Bless