Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Too tired to write a title....

So much to say...and I'm not sure I can.  My poor brain has started to hit it's limit in terms of sleep depravation.

First, to the Allegiance Health staff members I met today, and especially those I didn't.  I will never be able to thank you enough for what you did for me, my wife and my Miranda.  I learned today that grief radiates out from tragedy like a tsunami.  It knows no boundaries.  It respects no one.  It is completely unpredictable.  I feel for you and with I know you are feeling for me, and with me.  I look forward to seeing you all again in the near future.

The other parts of today felt so rushed.  I'm led to believe there will never be a good way to plan a funeral or memorial service.  No matter how hard those who provide the service try, it will always feel like important decisions need to be made too quickly.  You could give me and my family 6 months to decide on some of these things and we would still feel one wants to say goodbye.  Even though we know they are not with us anymore, no one wants to say goodbye.

I find that the waves of grief are changing.  What was erratic over the past couple of days, with strong surges and times of great relief, has turned to a steady flow. It's now a steady stream with only the occasional burst.  God's grace and mercy continue to hold back the storm, but the flood waters are still rising.

There's so much more I'd like to say...but it will have to wait.