I just finished reading my daily selection for Friday (yes, I realize it's technically Saturday right now) from Grieving the Loss of Someone You Love. I felt like it ties into my last post, at least a little bit.
"...our King sent his Son to be broken for us so that he could put us back together better than we were before. That doesn't mean our pain is not real. It is very real, just as Christ's pain was real when he wept for Lazarus...your job in this rebuilding process is to hand each piece to your heavenly Father as he asks for them. Then watch in awe as he puts them back together."
Chad..praying for you daily as I cannot begin to feel your pain. Your strength is truly amazing. As I have been following your posts I have also been reading the book by Mary Beth Chapman written after the loss of her beautiful daughter Maria, "Choosing to See", A Journey of Struggle and Hope. It is very touching and contains blogs of her grieving process. If you have the time or during a sleepless night, you may want to read it. It may help ease the mind and provide some comfort.
ReplyDeleteYou are truly a special person and your faith and trust in God are truly amazing. You are reaching so many individuals. Chad, You are a gift to others.
wow! that was profound. i'd never tho't of it that way before... :)
ReplyDeleteI was there on I-94 maybe a quarter mile, maybe less behind the accident. We had to wait for a very long time as emergency vehicles raced by on both sides. As traffic started to creep along, we came to the scene and we all gasped. Tragic. I started praying as I always do when I see an accident that has just happened. I never know what to pray for, but I know God knows. A few days later I was reading on line about a sad accident where a pregnant woman had died and her baby was fighting for life. I scrolled down and saw the picture and I gasped again. It was that same image that I had seen. I have followed your story closely and wept with you. I too have lost someone I love and adore. I know that sadness that you are feeling. My 34 year old son was a victim of a horrendous homicide just over three years ago. So, I understand. Yesterday, I was again coming home from Jackson. That same road, in another snow storm. I thought of you as I passed that horrible place in the road. I am so sorry for your loss. I feel your pain. You have a very long road ahead of you. It is a lonely path, but you are doing a good job so far. Talking about it, talking to her, keeping them alive in your heart and mind. I do that, too. I made a FB group in my son's memory that I post to him on. It doesn't have many members, that's not the purpose, it's for him, it's for me, because it helps. Don't ever feel bad or apologize for what you feel. If you feel happy, it's okay. If you cry, that's okay. Whatever you feel, it is your emotions and it is right for you. Cry, scream, get angry, be sad, be happy, whatever it takes to get you through the next second, minute, hour, day. Finally, it will come to the first year. Let me tell you, warn you, way ahead of time, it is probably the worst day. Somehow not being able to say, "Last year at this time...." was the hardest of all "anniversaries" to deal with, for me. But you will get through each milestone. You will go on and fight through your grief. I did. I don't know how, I just did. It's a blur sometimes, but here I am, three years later, and I survived, am still surviving. One day at a time.
ReplyDeleteHere is a song that I requested be sung at my son's funeral. My brother sang it for me.
Does Jesus care when my heart is pained
Too deeply for mirth or song,
As the burdens press, and the cares distress
And the way grows weary and long?
Refrain
Oh yes, He cares, I know He cares,
His heart is touched with my grief;
When the days are weary, the long nights dreary,
I know my Savior cares.
Does Jesus care when my way is dark
With a nameless dread and fear?
As the daylight fades into deep night shades,
Does He care enough to be near?
Oh yes, He cares, I know He cares,
His heart is touched with my grief;
When the days are weary, the long nights dreary,
I know my Savior cares.
Does Jesus care when I've tried and failed
To resist some temptation strong;
When for my deep grief there is no relief,
Though my tears flow all the night long?
Oh yes, He cares, I know He cares,
His heart is touched with my grief;
When the days are weary, the long nights dreary,
I know my Savior cares.
Does Jesus care when I've said 'goodbye'
To the dearest on earth to me,
And my sad heart aches till it nearly breaks,
Is it aught to Him? Does He see?
Oh yes, He cares, I know He cares,
His heart is touched with my grief;
When the days are weary, the long nights dreary,
I know my Savior cares.
♥
My thoughts and prayers are with you. Thank you for continuing to write.
Chad, I've been reading your blog since I saw it on facebook and praying for you, Sara and Miranda every day. I pray that days are getting easier for you. I worship a lot with music and singing, and Steven Curtis Chapman's albuum "Beauty Will Rise" has eased my heart through the loss of two babies. Your faith is strong, and out of these ashes, beauty will rise and you will dance among the ruins, you will see it with your own eyes. I clung to that for a long time and God took the rest. Bless you, you're doing such a great job just getting through each day, and your love for Sara and Miranda is so beautiful. God be with you.
ReplyDeleteChad I saw this video today and wanted to share the lyrics with you...especially after yesterday...thinking of you and your families.
ReplyDeleteKimberly
Lady Antebellum
Hello World lyrics
Songwriters: Douglas, Tom; Lane, Tony; Lee, David;
Traffic cars, cell phone calls, top video screams at me
Through my tender window I see a little girl, rust red minivan
She's got chocolate on her face, got little hands
And she waves at me, yeah, she smiles at me
Well, hello world, how've you been?
Good to see you, my old friend
Sometimes I feel cold as steel
Broken like I'm never gonna heal
I see a light, little hole in the little girl
Well, hello world
Every day I drive by a little white church
It's got these little white crosses like angels in the yard
Maybe I should stop on in and say a prayer
Maybe talk to God like he is there
Oh, I know He's there, yeah, I know He's there
Well, hello world, how've you been?
Good to see you, my old friend
Sometimes I feel as cold as steel
And broken like I'm never gonna heal
I see a light, little grace, little faith unfurl
Well, hello world
Sometimes I forget what living's for
And I hear my life through my front door
And I'll be there, oh, I'm home again
I see my wife, little boy, little girl
Hello world, hello world
Oh, the empty disappears
I remember why I'm here
To surrender and believe
I fall down on my knees
Oh hello world, hello world, hello world