Friday, March 18, 2011

Thank you, thank you...

This morning, the leadership team and administrators of Allegiance Health took some time to honor the emergency room and labor & delivery staff members who were on duty on February 5. They allowed me to speak for a few minutes. Below is the text of my short speech. It meant a lot to me to be able to thank these people in front of their administrators and leadership team.

"Everything changed on February 5th. Amidst the chaos and mayhem, decisions had to be made; decisions that I, and my family, could not make. Decisions that changed so many lives forever.  Today, I want to make sure you know how thankful I am for the roll you all played in that day, and for the decisions you made.

My wife’s journey on this earth ended on that icy highway, long before she ever made it to the hospital. And yet, facing unbeatable odds, you worked as hard and as long as you could to try to reverse things. For me, the fact that you were still trying to revive her, to keep her here almost 90 minutes after the accident, when I was finally wheeled into her room, strapped to a backboard on a stretcher, means the world to me. It shows how much you cared. It shows me how deep the loss would hurt everyone in that room.

Under those circumstances, no one could have blamed you for giving up sooner. No one could have blamed you for just accepting the inevitable, but you chose to keep trying, long after trying was required. Thank you for living out hope when there was no hope. Your actions, and the decisions you made, helped me as my heart had to reconcile what my mind already knew to be true.

Of course, this story does not end there. Sara was only 18 days away from the expected due date of our first child. My daughter, Miranda, was delivered without a heartbeat, without breath. Her story could have just as easily ended right there. But you chose a different path. You made a decision to revive her to try to keep her here. Today, I want you to know you should never, ever, second-guess that decision. It was the right decision. It was a decision that gave her short time on earth purpose and meaning.  It was a decision that meant Miranda was not just a baby, stillborn as part of an unspeakable tragedy. It was a decision that gave me three precious days with my little girl. I never would have gotten to hold her like I did, to kiss her soft pink skin, wrap her tiny little fingers around my finger, or introduce her to so many of my family and friends. It was a decision that made me a daddy, and made her daddy’s little girl. Your decision gave me a priceless gift, and I can’t thank you enough for that.

Today, nearly 6 weeks after that fateful day, I’m still surprised at how my quiet wife and my precious little girl have impacted this community and this world. You are part of that impact, and your leadership team and administrators are, and should be, proud of you. So I say thank you, thank you, from the bottom of my broken heart, thank you for everything you did for them and for me."

29 comments:

  1. What a beautiful speech and tribute to Sara and Miranda. As a nurse, I know it was very touching for those in the hospital to hear those words from you. God Bless you Chad.

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  2. Chad; You are in my prayers every day. Your blog amazes me each and every time I read it. I know that Sara and Miranda our looking down on you and smiling. Nina

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  3. Dear Chad,
    Thank you so much for your kind words... it meant so much to us to hear from you today. It meant so much to me to see you and hug you today. I do want you to know that when Miranda was delivered, we did not have to make that choice, that difficult decision that you speak of... there was no other choice in our minds but to do everything that we could do to try to save her. There was not even a fraction of a second that we considered otherwise. And I'm so thankful that you at least had that time with your beautiful baby girl... your sweet angel.
    Thinking of you always,
    Dr. Tisha (Miranda's pediatrician that day)

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  4. I have been following your blog/story sincce the accident. You don't know me any more than I don't know you. You work with a relative of mine and I heard about the trajic accident from her. Your story breaks my heart and warms my heart all at the same time. Know that I think of you all of the time and that you are in my prayers daily.

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  5. That was absolutely beautiful, Chad. I'm sure the people involved were every bit as thankful to hear those words as you were in saying them. Peace be with you.

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  6. amazing. We think of you so often, and pray for you that somehow God will meet you in your grief and comfort you.

    K

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  7. What a great speech and thank you to all of the hospital staff that played a role in your family's life. I am just amazed everytime I read your blog. My heart goes out to you and your families are you heal from this tragedy. I think of you when I am holding my now 5 1/2 month old and putting her to bed. My thoughts and prayers are with you daily.

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  8. I just started reading your blog yesterday. I've cried and laughed and smiled and bit my lip to keep the tears back.
    What a beautiful and brave message you gave to those people today. You are walking proof of the love our Father has for us.
    I will keep you in prayer.

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  9. Absolutely beautiful! Both your wife and daughter are SO proud of you. You're a very strong individual and i continue to think about you and pray for you daily. I'm in nursing school right now; seeing this speech I know really touched all of the staff working that horrific night. You have inspired me and proven why i am going in to the nursing field for this very reason. I hope that by this i can do the same for many other individuals (not that i'd ever wish that upon anyone); however this facility provided you with a lasting memory that will never be replaced. Keep your spirits high.

    You're always in my thoughts! God bless you!
    -Danielle Hamilton

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  10. Chad,
    What beautiful and thoughtful words to those who work daily in the medical field. I hope you don't mind but I am going to share this with a good friend of mine who is an Oncology nurse at Mott. She has asked about you often and I know she will appreciate what you wrote. I keep track of you via your blog often. Though I don't know you well, the words you write and the things you share about Sarah and Miranda make me want to be a kinder and better person. I continue to pray for you daily.
    Verna Minier (Philpott)

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  11. That was absolutely beautiful, I couldn't agree more with Nina your blog amazes me everytime your writing is just so powerful and touching

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  12. Beautiful Chad! What wonderful words you spoke to them and I'm sure that they all appreciated it. I still think of you daily, and continue to remember you in my prayers.

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  13. Hello Chad,

    You don't know me but I began reading your blog just very recently. Like many I've ran the full range of emotions with you. Also like many, my heart breaks for you. I'm not sure what I wanted to say but I guess I was compelled to write you. There's not a single thing anyone can say to stop your pain or fix your heart. I just want you to know that people are pulling for you and keeping you in many thoughts and prayers.

    You are an inspiration and I'm sure Sara and Miranda couldn't be any more proud of you. Keep strong!

    God Bless,
    Justina

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  14. What wonderful words to share with the staff, you truly are an amazing husband, friend,& daddy, praying for continued daily strength for you!

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  15. Dear Chad,
    Every day that I read your blog, my heart aches for you. I lift you in prayer. I want you to know that your blog is a tremendous testimony of faith, and it touches me more than I can express. Thank you for sharing so much. Keep writing, please.

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  16. What a powerful, emotional speech that I am sure that staff will always remember. You did an incredible job. Your story and faith are impacting a lot of lives. I think of you often and share your story with others, asking them to pray strength for you.
    Laura

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  17. Dear Chad, reading this is so touching, I look every day to see if you have posted something, you are touching so many people in so many ways as are Sara and Miranda....this song is from a movie, maybe it will seem a bit strange but it is from A Walk to Remember, so a chick flick but has an excellent story about love and loss...if you down load the song I think you will really like it. In all of our thoughts always....Kimberly

    Someday We'll Know - Mandy Moore
    Ninety miles outside Chicago
    Can't stop driving
    I don't know why
    So many questions
    I need an answer
    Two years and later
    You're still on my mind

    Whatever happened to Amelia Earhart?
    Who holds the stars up in the sky?
    Is true love just once in a lifetime?
    Did the captain of the Titanic cry?
    Ohhh.....

    Someday we'll know
    If love can move a mountain
    Someday we'll know
    Why the sky is blue
    Someday we'll know
    Why I was meant for you

    Does anybody know the way to Atlantis?
    Or what the wind says when she cries?
    I'm speeding by the place that I met you
    For the ninety-seventh time tonight

    Someday we'll know
    If love can move a mountain
    Someday we'll know
    Why the sky is blue
    Someday we'll know
    Why I was meant for you

    Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

    Someday we'll know
    Why Samson loved Delilah
    One day I'll go
    Dancing on the moon
    Someday you'll know
    That I was the one for you

    I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow
    Watched the stars crash in the sea
    If I could ask God just one question (one question...question)
    Why aren't you here with me tonight?

    Someday we'll know
    If love can move a mountain
    Someday we'll know
    Why the sky is blue
    Someday we'll know
    Why I was meant for you

    Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

    Someday we'll know
    Why Samson loved Delilah
    One day I'll go
    Dancing on the moon
    Someday you'll know
    That I was the one for you

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  18. Straight from the heart......I have so much respect for you. Thinking about you often.

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  19. Thank you for sharing this with all of us. God bless your heart.

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  20. What a beautiful, moving tribute. I give you so much credit for doing that, what a profound way to show your gratitude. I am sure it meant so much to all of them. Your wife & sweet daughter are smiling down on you, no doubt. Wishing you comfort & peace always

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  21. I have no doubt, Chad, that God is blessing you for choosing to reach out in love at this time in your life. I am awed by your kind ways and generous spirit. Who would blame you if you wrapped both of your arms tightly around your own grieving body right now and did nothing but protect your own broken heart? You continue to make difficult decisions of your own that serve as a bold example to people like me who continue praying for you and who are learning so much about love from you.

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  22. Chad, what a tribuate to Sara and Miranda. To share such feelings helps all of us come to grips with the terrible tragedy you are going threw, I think when we read these, it makes us more softer and kinder. Thank you for allowing us to go down this road with you. May God Bless you and hold each of you and Sara's Family in the palm of his hand.
    Cate

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  23. Thank you Chad, for your heart, for your words, for your testimony.

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  24. Beautiful Chad. Beautifully written and spoken from your heart. You have a gift.

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  25. Chad, like many who comment here - you don't know me. I have relatives who live in your area and so I heard about your nightmare chain of events through them. I am a neonatal nurse practitioner and am especially touched and moved by the words you wrote in your thank you address. What a grounded, unselfish, thoughtful address. It is moving to read because as a provider you wonder - did I do the right thing, did I say the right thing, why did we do that, how is that going to affect that mother or that father? I have read your blog regularly and have learned so much from your insight and amazingly talented writing. I constantly seek ways to try connect to my patients families and to be more sensitive, loving,compassionate. Your blog helps me learn more about the behind the scenes process. I absolutely love my job. I love the opportunity I get to take a care of God's tiniest miracles. Chad, your experience is something that I cannot imagine going through. Your experience is something I have watched other brave men encounter. Your experience is what brings me to my knees everytime as I try to grasp why? It is the biggest unanswered question in my faith, why does this kind of event have to happen to anyone? Your testimony is powerful and one I wish for you that you didn't have to share. Know that someone else far away is praying for you and thinking about you.

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  26. Dear Chad,
    Thank you for continuing to write. Your testimony and faith is so inspiring. I am sure your words truly touched the staff at Allegiance Health. Thank you for putting your thoughts and feelings into an amazing outreach for so many to read.

    God Bless you,
    Sarah

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  27. Wow! What a powerful thing for you to say and do! Chad, I think of you often and your broken heart. My nephew lost his wife last Sept in a car accident, but his story is different, he was left a single father of three young children. I feel for him too.
    I have to say that I am so inspired by your writings, and I look forward to reading what you write. You write so beautifully that it is an inspiration all by itself. I also wanted to say, that I so believe that God wanted you to have those few days with Miranda, he wanted you to have that to hold close to your heart. For that, I am thankful for you!
    On another note, I want to tell you a story of my own, that has helped me when I read tragedies such as yours. About 8 years ago, a family member gave birth prematurely to a 1 pound 12 ounce baby girl. She lived to be just 11 weeks old. It was touch and go so many times and then more and more she began to improve only to find out that the medications they were giving her to keep her alive eventually destroyed her liver and they were unable to do anymore. Listening to your story of your far to few days with your Miranda, brought back the memories of that tragic time as well. Many times I asked silently how God could take this beautiful baby, Why? Well, a minister came by one day at the hospital, and he answered that question, and I never had to ask. His words were, "God did not do this, LIFE did this." For a few minutes I had to really think about this and really comprehend what he meant by this. Then he said, "God is only taking her home, and relieving her from the pain and suffering." And, it made perfect sense. So, when I think of your tragedy, I realize that God did not take them, life got in the way and a terrible accident happened. God took them home, to keep them safe for you when you join them later. God did not do this, Life did, and it dealt you a horrible hand, but you will prevail. Sara and Miranda are so proud of you as am I. I pray for you often and wish you the very best and a speedy recovery for your loss and grief. Hugs and prayers!

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  28. I'm so glad you seized the opportunity to thank the people who so often go un-thanked. This is a beautiful tribute to them and a testimony of your Father's love lived out in you.

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  29. What a beautiful speech Chad,
    You are always in my thoughts.
    From across the ocean
    Sarie
    xx

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Thanks,
Chad