Thursday, June 9, 2011

A day in the park...

Dear Sara,

I saw a dad with his little girl at Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore made me think about Miranda, and you, and how much fun it would have been to go on a vacation, carrying her around, seeing the sights, just being together as a family.

Those little moments of sadness permeate my day now. The brief glimpses into other people’s lives…the life that we were looking forward to…

I had a another moment today…a Forrest Gump moment. There came a point in the story in which, during his run back and forth across America, he stopped, turned around, and went home. He just decided he was done running. I was riding on County Road H-58 when I was overwhelmed with a desire to just go home…until I thought about the fact that home is just so empty right now. The laughter, the crying, the tears, the smell of poopy diapers…all missing.

The part of me that was you still aches in your absence. It always will. The scars will always be there, ready to send a quick reminder of the way things were…once upon a time.

I love you. I miss you. Give Miranda a kiss from daddy.



  1. Chad;

    I still look for your posts on a regular basis, and have noticed that they have become less frequent recently. I honestly can't say, "I know how you feel", because I don't. I also don't know what I would do in your situation.
    You are still in my thoughts and prayers. I hope someday I have an opportunity to cross paths with you. You are truly inspirational!

  2. Still praying for you, Chad. You're right the scars will always be there...but hopefully a little less visible each day. You have two precious Angels watching over you that I know are so proud of you! I admire your strength during this journey and road that God has put you on.

  3. Still checking in on you and praying for you often.

  4. Dear Chad,
    We've never met, yet somehow I find you on my mind from time to time.

    I know that your mind has a way with dates. As this Father's Day comes near, I see it is also the 1-year anniversary of when you found out you were going to be a father. Even though Sara and Miranda are not here to celebrate with you, I'm sure they'll be watching over you and sending a positive message your way. May the day be filled with warm memories for you.

    Thank you for continuing your blog. It is an inspiration to so many, including me.

  5. Dear Chad,
    Just 'visiting' you again today. My heart aches for you. I have experienced the loss of a baby and so know a little of your feelings. I will continue to hope and pray that one day, in time, you will once again find happiness. You are an incredible writer and I hope that one day you will write a book. It would help so many others who have gone through similar tragedies. God bless, Ruth

  6. Chad,

    A month ago my husband abandoned me and his 4 yr old daughter and 11 month old son. I know it can't compare but I feel like a large part of me has been destroyed. I can't imagine how you've coped with your situation because this is killing me. Hope you continue well and that I can survive this as well.

  7. I can relate to your ache of watching others enjoy a life that you would have had if things were different. I know how much that can hurt. I will be praying for you in the days to come. I can honestly say, there is hope. Keep grieving and expressing your grief, this is how healing comes. I love the book Tear Soup, it was very helpful for me in the beginning of my journey of loss.

    you will be in my prayers daily.

    Kristin Arcilla

  8. We've never met - I attended Spring Arbor University and that is how I accidentally happened upon your blog. My prayers and thoughts are with you. My heart breaks each time I read a blog of yours. I can't imagine how trying to mend your own is and what a daily struggle it must be. Many are praying, seeing how that is really all we can do.


  9. Chad,
    I ran across this on the Volusia forum. I can't imagine what you are going through, but God has a plan and he has a reason for everything. We don't always understand but one day you will. You will always be on my mind and in my prays. Be strong and god bless you.

  10. Still here reading your blogs..just don't know what to say. Lifting you up in prayer.

  11. Dear Chad:
    Thinking of you and praying for you each step of the way. May you feel God's loving arms around you.
    For Him Judy

  12. Dear Chad,

    Glad to hear you came to the UP to help with your healing. God's Country is a wonderful place to do that. You are in my thoughts & prayers.


  13. Chad,
    Thinking you this weekend. Although your little Miranda is in Heaven you are an amazing Dad! Read your posts often!

    Love and Prayers,


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