Tuesday, February 21, 2012


Dear Miranda,

Daddy still misses you, I know I always will. I was at church, watching two of your cousins get baptized this past Sunday, and the fact that you're not here with me, that I won't get to experience these little bits of life with you, hit me like a ton of bricks. It's so hard knowing you're already in Heaven, and trying to be happy about that, when I feel so cheated here on earth.

I love you. I miss you. Give mommy a kiss from daddy.


Save A Place For Me
by Matthew West

Don’t be mad if I cry
It just hurts so bad sometimes
‘Cause everyday it’s sinking in
And I have to say goodbye all over again

You know I bet it feels good to have the weight of this world
Off your shoulders now
I’m dreaming of the day
When I’m finally there with you

Save a place for me
Save a place for me
I’ll be there soon
I’ll be there soon
Save a place for me
Save some grace for me
I’ll be there soon
I’ll be there soon

I have asked the question why
But I guess the answer’s for another time
So instead I’ll pray
With every tear
And be thankful for the time I had you here


  1. Chad, when I was single and waiting to become a wife and a mommy, baptisms and Christmas programs were the hardest of church days to get through. There were times I was holding back the tears so hard I nearly choked. I can only imagine that feeling is so much more intense for you.

    I find myself praying for you the most while driving my son to daycare in the morning and when he wakes me in the middle of the night. In the mornings I most often pray that you find some measure of peace and joy in the day ahead. In the middle of the night I always pray that, if you are laying awake missing Sara and Miranda, God will bring them close to you and ease your heartache.

  2. Every time I read your posts I literally have a hard time breathing through the sobs. I know the pain I feel for you (a complete stranger) and know that the pain you feel is indescribable. I think our bodies hit a maximum amount of emotional pain and then it just can't possibly hurt anymore -or we wouldn't survive. Life is so unfair. I read stories like yours and feel guilty for having the life that I do. I also appreciate every little moment even more than I used to. I truly wish that there were a "pain exchange" system in this world. If we all could just take a llittle morsel of your pain away, we would. I am SO sorry.

  3. Dear chad,
    I am sure you probably heard but sweet Miranda got a new playmate this week, her name is Azlynn. I found myself thinking of you and your girls while sobbing through another loss. Her parents are baptist missionaries from Canada. I sent them your blog... Hope you don't mind! We are constantly lifting you up in prayer-!
    Love. In HIM
    Dawn and the rest of the laird crew!


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