Dear Miranda,
Daddy still misses you, I know I always will. I was at church, watching two of your cousins get baptized this past Sunday, and the fact that you're not here with me, that I won't get to experience these little bits of life with you, hit me like a ton of bricks. It's so hard knowing you're already in Heaven, and trying to be happy about that, when I feel so cheated here on earth.
I love you. I miss you. Give mommy a kiss from daddy.
Love,
Daddy
Save A Place For Me
by Matthew West
Don’t be mad if I cry
It just hurts so bad sometimes
‘Cause everyday it’s sinking in
And I have to say goodbye all over again
You know I bet it feels good to have the weight of this world
Off your shoulders now
I’m dreaming of the day
When I’m finally there with you
Save a place for me
Save a place for me
I’ll be there soon
I’ll be there soon
Save a place for me
Save some grace for me
I’ll be there soon
I’ll be there soon
I have asked the question why
But I guess the answer’s for another time
So instead I’ll pray
With every tear
And be thankful for the time I had you here
Chad, when I was single and waiting to become a wife and a mommy, baptisms and Christmas programs were the hardest of church days to get through. There were times I was holding back the tears so hard I nearly choked. I can only imagine that feeling is so much more intense for you.
ReplyDeleteI find myself praying for you the most while driving my son to daycare in the morning and when he wakes me in the middle of the night. In the mornings I most often pray that you find some measure of peace and joy in the day ahead. In the middle of the night I always pray that, if you are laying awake missing Sara and Miranda, God will bring them close to you and ease your heartache.
Every time I read your posts I literally have a hard time breathing through the sobs. I know the pain I feel for you (a complete stranger) and know that the pain you feel is indescribable. I think our bodies hit a maximum amount of emotional pain and then it just can't possibly hurt anymore -or we wouldn't survive. Life is so unfair. I read stories like yours and feel guilty for having the life that I do. I also appreciate every little moment even more than I used to. I truly wish that there were a "pain exchange" system in this world. If we all could just take a llittle morsel of your pain away, we would. I am SO sorry.
ReplyDeleteDear chad,
ReplyDeleteI am sure you probably heard but sweet Miranda got a new playmate this week, her name is Azlynn. I found myself thinking of you and your girls while sobbing through another loss. Her parents are baptist missionaries from Canada. I sent them your blog... Hope you don't mind! We are constantly lifting you up in prayer-!
Love. In HIM
Dawn and the rest of the laird crew!
I love that song.
ReplyDelete