Friday, October 7, 2011


Dear Sara,

Will a time come when I stop counting the months since I last saw your smile? Heard your laugh? Kissed your lips? Held you close? We just passed 8...

The trees are changing color. The maple in front of our house has already changed and will lose it's leaves over the next couple of weeks. We are now entering our third season without you and Miranda. Spring...summer...winter to come soon enough...too soon.

It was sixteen years ago this and I had noticed each other and started spending copious amounts of time hanging out together in the dormitory lounge. You asked me to Homecoming 16 years ago this took me a long time to learn what a huge step that was for such a shy girl.

...and now it's 8 months. Eight months since death stole you from us. Eight months of wishing, wondering, learning...wishing.

I love you. I miss you. Give Miranda a kiss from daddy.



  1. Dear Chad,

    Hugs and prayers. I know it must feels as though this grief journey will never end...and it won't until we are reunited with our loved ones in heaven. I assure you, it does get easier. There will come a time when you won't count the months, though I don't know when that will be for you. Be gentle and kind to yourself, and know that what you feel and do is normal for you. Lean and trust in Him. I will pause to pray...Shannon :o)

  2. thinking of you...praying for you. I am about to face my son Blaze's 5 year anniversary, I am not doing too good. Grief is a journey. That is for sure. In April I will face my son River's 8 birth/death anniversary, and I am dreading it. The seasons bring these emotions to the surface. I am remembering so many memories, they never fade, and that is a good thing. May the God of peace comfort you....

  3. Mommyto8-

    My heart hurts alongside with you and Chad. We just passed the one year anniversary of our son Ethan (he was 7) going to be with Jesus. Hugs!

  4. Dear Chad,
    For the past 3 years me and 3 of my closest friends have been writing to eachother in notebooks. All 4 of us living in different cities, trying to figure out where our lives are going. We write letters, things we could never say out loud or things that we would otherwise not have the time to tell eachother. It just reminds me a lot of your blog.
    I first heard about your story on the news, then I saw more on facebook and even more on blogspot. I started reading your story from the very beginning. And the more I read the more tears would fall. What you write about is beautiful in a way that's almost unexplainable. I never knew you or your family, but I can feel the love so deeply.
    I don't know if being a writer was ever the first thing you thought about when asked "what do you want to be when you grow up?" But it would have been a pretty good answer if you ask me.
    You should know that many people, myself included have never experienced a tragedy even close to the one you have faced. And we have so much to be thankful for. But when I read your blogs there is always a hint if not more of optimism in your words that makes you seem like such a strong person even if you don't feel like it.
    You said in one of your earlier blogs that you had a playlist of crying songs.The song "I Hope You Dance" by Lee Ann Womack is one of those for me. But it also helps me get through some of my hard times. The book that goes with it is like my own little life bible. So i'll end with a quote from the book..and chad- I Hope You Dance.
    "Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance. A promise is all about faith. A promise is only as strong as your own faith in your own self, in your own god. So when you swear, in light of your strengths and in spite of your weaknesses, to struggle and follow through, YOU are doing a beautiful thing."


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